Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
