You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
