I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
