like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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