***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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