The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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