Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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