Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
