I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
