my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sext me about skeletons
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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