Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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