it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
