Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
