I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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