Apparently you make a good broom.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
