She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
