Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
