We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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