69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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