WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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