your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize