he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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