Sry I called you an 8
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
