I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize