I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize