I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
