Fuck appropriateness.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
