Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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