Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
