I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
