I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
