I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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