Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
