I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize