...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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