But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
