just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
