I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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