i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we're making bets on your personal life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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