Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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