also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
