9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
