Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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