i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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