theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
