Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
