So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize