I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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