I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
