erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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