Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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