There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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