Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
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So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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