I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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