Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
