Define "chronic" masturbator.
Screwed.edu
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
