she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
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I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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