This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
